I’m not great at processing emotions or feeling or pretty much any sort of thing that is going to cause me great discomfort. Yet, I find that life sometimes sends certain things your way to help you with whatever pain you’re avoiding or not dealing with in your life. This is a short tale of how a bunny helped me through a great pain that I could not process. A pain that I had been holding on to for sometime.
I’ve never been particular super-religious and the entire idea of some guy sacrificing himself for me seems pretty intense to me. I’ve always had this very cynical idea of the world, that nothing was for a reason and nothing had purpose to it. This incident changed my entire view of how the world works and why things happen the way they happen.
It was in May of this past year, a local film student wanted to make a short documentary on my life, why? My life isn’t exactly the most interesting of spectacles, but it is my life and it has some significance. When I was eleven years old, my brother drowned in a pool. A terrible tragedy that devastated my family and the ripple effects of it were seen decades later. They wanted to document how my family is doing now and what they learned from this awful tragedy. The film took six months to shoot, one month to edit, and then they were finally ready to screen it. The screening was going to happen in May. May is the same month that my brother passed away. So, needless to say, this was going to be a very emotionally draining month.
They set the date for the screening.
I gathered friends and family.
We went to the screening.
We watched the film.
I went home and I waited.
I waited for something. Anything. I mean I just saw a movie about my life and my family and the death of my brother, yet here I was, just acting normal. No tears, no pain, no sadness. I was shut down. So I decided to take my then-girlfriend’s dog on a walk, figured I had nothing else to do, maybe some fresh air would help. As we walked, I contemplated on trying to be in touch with my emotions, something I’ve struggled with for some time. Then I saw something.
A small bunny, laying on the sidewalk. Crying in pain. All alone. I ran over at once. There it was, a tiny bunny lying on the sidewalk. It was injured, I decided to call the police, they said they were going to be sending some people to grab the bunny.
So I waited.
Nothing ever came.
So I decided to grab this bunny. I walked back outside, I grabbed the bunny and I started walking back towards my home. Then something happened.
I cried hard.
As I was carrying this injured bunny back to my house, I was a sobbing mess. I reached my house, soaked in my own tears. I put the bunny on the table and I tried to mend his wounds, clean up his cuts. Then I watched the bunny take its very last breaths on this earth. The bunny was gone. I was sitting in my kitchen, next to this dead bunny. Sobbing my eyes out.
I didn’t know this bunny.
It wasn’t my personal pet.
It was just an injured animal on the sidewalk that needed help.
I couldn’t help that bunny, but it helped me. More than I could ever repay it. I don’t really believe in coincidences. Call me the “everything happens for a reason guy”. I believe I was meant to find that bunny. The bunny helped me deal with some inner pain that I didn’t know how to handle on my own. It helped me mourn the death of a loved one. It opened up a door that I tried so hard to keep shut. For this, I am forever grateful for this bunny. While its life was so short, its death was not in vain. That bunny allowed me another chance at life, to let go of the deep pain that was holding me back, the pain of the loss of my brother. The pain of abandonment, of fear, of death. This experience was such a small peephole into a greater plan. I believe everything is connected and I believe with every death comes a new life, spiritual or physical. This bunny may not have been able to live the full life it deserved, but it gave me a chance to fully live my own. I can only hope that the universe will allow me the same opportunity to another being on this planet.
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