Guys, our way out of misery and soul-deadening jobs is not through maintaining the system.
How can men who are socialized not to acknowledge their feelings find the vocabulary to start expressing themselves?
What patriarchal, heteronormative assumptions contribute to toxic masculinity?
What can we do while our children are young to prevent them from suffering or spending years in therapy having to unlearn everything?
How do we (intentionally or not) enforce gender stereotypes?
While you know yourself better than anyone else ever will, we can’t just discount what others perceive.
So much of the work we do to ensure our place in society is basically attempts at avoiding shame.
What awaits us if we work toward something different?
Here are some stress management techniques that you should stay away from.
The patriarchy doesn’t want us “complaining” because, if we do it right, it may actually lead to change.
We have to stop pretending there are biological reasons for why women do certain things and men do certain things.
Or at the very least you can choose to hold in that feeling until you are somewhere it can be expressed. If you’re sick and tired of your senator you can find ways to put that feeling into action instead of just getting a bunch of drinks every time he or she says something that makes you cringe. You can channel that energy into electing the new candidate. You can learn meditation, work out, and find what works for you because now you’re not yelling at your kids, picking a fight with the neighbor, or letting “little things” mean so much more than you rationally know that they do.
Embed from Getty Images — While many people enter counseling because they’ve been told they need to be more “emotional” (whatever that means…) another grouping of people have been told they’re “over-sensitive” and they tell me they want a “thicker skin.” When I first heard this years ago, my thought was “Wow.” We, counselors, train…
Does punishment always work best when a compassionate, curious exploration of behavior is available? Many of us grow up with an understanding that when we do something wrong we should be held responsible. Does that necessarily mean we need to be punished for it?
How can we provide as many spaces as possible for males to encourage the expression of vulnerable feelings from birth through adulthood?
Men, allow yourself to feel . . . and then get out of your own way.