Before I knew the term, I was fully aware of the concept of “mansplaining” from experience.
In diverse gatherings, I could not help but notice that older white men, in particular, had a tendency to drone on about a topic long after the audience had stopped listening. They were seemingly unaware of this reality no matter how many people shifted in their chairs or cleared their throats.
It also did not seem to matter to them whether the topic was a sensitive one (related to gender or otherwise) or whether they were the most qualified to speak on it. In the absence of older white men, older men of color seemed to take on this role — with younger men (at times) following suit.
I was accused of mansplaining for the first time (that I know of) last summer. I was an instructor at a summer program for gifted students. I allowed plenty of space for dialogue and peer-to-peer sharing in the classroom, and at one point a few of my female students reacted to a comment one of my male students made related to feminism. I do not remember the exact comment and was not present for the entire exchange, but I chose to intervene rather than let it play out.
The purpose of my intervention was to transition back to class — the exchange had taken place during a break — and to divert some of the hostility away from my male student, who was not entirely fluent in English and certainly not fluent in feminist terminology. In short, he was overmatched. Based on my training and experience as a teacher, I stand by my decision to intervene.
But my intervention was in the form of a lecture related to feminism — as I deemed the topic to be relevant and did not want to avoid the issue — so I was therefore accused of mansplaining.
When class was over, the incident served as a teachable moment for me. I returned to Rebecca Solnit’s original explanation of the concept before it became a portmanteau. My central question to both myself and my colleagues: is it not my job as an instructor to explain things (I think) I know to my students, who I can assume know less than I do about those things? And if could not make this assumption, then why would I be serving as instructor?
Yes, I was a man explaining something, but was I mansplaining?
My interpretation of Solnit is that mansplaining entails both ignorance and arrogance. A man assuming he knows what he is talking about when he does not is ignorance, and his assuming he knows more than the woman he is speaking to is arrogance. I am concerned, ironically, that I am mansplaining right now.
Am I? Or am I just educating?
I use this as an example to illustrate the importance of self-reflection and dialogue. Even the most uncomfortable cross-gender interactions can become opportunities for growth. Even moments of mansplaining can become moments of clarity.
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Male Stereotype Number One: Men Don’t Cry
Male Stereotype Number Two: Men Don’t Ask for Directions
Male Stereotype Number Three: Men are Competitive
Male Stereotype Number Four: Men Don’t Cook
Male Stereotype Number Five: Men are Warriors
Male Stereotype Number Six: Men Are Clumsy
Male Stereotype Number Seven: Men Are Aggressive
Male Stereotype Number Eight: Men are Either Good or Evil
Male Stereotype Number Nine: Men Can’t Be Friends with Women
Male Stereotype Number Ten: Men are Strong
Male Stereotype Number 11: Men are Breadwinners
Male Stereotype Number 12: Men Don’t Refuse Sex
Male Stereotype Number 13: Men ‘Manspread’
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