I have come to accept that I am a stubborn man and that I am not alone. Nothing screams masculinity more than obstinance.
I used to be the type to wear clothes until they disintegrated: I just couldn’t let go. One of my exes hated this habit and would try to throw my tattered rags (mostly socks with holes in them) away when I wasn’t looking. This led to (low-speed) chases and shouting matches. She eventually smoothed it over by buying me new socks, some of which now have holes. And — you guessed it — I still wear them.
Although I never got into any serious trouble, I was a firebrand for as long as I can remember. I would argue about grades both as a child and well into my adulthood (as a Master’s student). I was so embittered in one case that I sat in the audience (with the families) in protest during my own graduation ceremony. This bitterness stayed with me for more than a year, even when nothing further could be done to change the situation. I simply could not accept less than what I thought I deserved. I hated to lose and still do — but with each passing year I become a little more relaxed and willing to accept limitations.
I wish this were true of all men because we apparently make up 90 percent of all deaths by misadventure. These are tragic cases of masculinity gone amok that are not often mentioned in feminist critiques. When I was a kid, I loved the show Xena: Warrior Princess and was shocked when Kevin Smith, the actor who played Ares, fell to his death while attempting to climb a “film prop designed like a castle.”
Call them stubborn, stupid, or reckless, there are many risky behaviors associated with men: hard-drug use, aggressive driving, stunts, feats of strength, competitive eating, violent sports, and so on. In its worst manifestations, male stubbornness causes death — but even its mildest forms can lead to unnecessary conflict that affects not only the man in question but also his friends, loved ones, and (sometimes) innocent bystanders.
It’s stressful to be stubborn, and the last thing we need during the holidays is more stress.
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Male Stereotype Number One: Men Don’t Cry
Male Stereotype Number Two: Men Don’t Ask for Directions
Male Stereotype Number Three: Men are Competitive
Male Stereotype Number Four: Men Don’t Cook
Male Stereotype Number Five: Men are Warriors
Male Stereotype Number Six: Men Are Clumsy
Male Stereotype Number Seven: Men Are Aggressive
Male Stereotype Number Eight: Men are Either Good or Evil
Male Stereotype Number Nine: Men Can’t Be Friends with Women
Male Stereotype Number Ten: Men are Strong
Male Stereotype Number 11: Men are Breadwinners
Male Stereotype Number 12: Men Don’t Refuse Sex
Male Stereotype Number 13: Men ‘Manspread’
Male Stereotype Number 14: Men ‘Mansplain’
Male Stereotype Number 15: Men Don’t Listen
Male Stereotype Number 16: Men Are Better Drivers
Male Stereotype Number 17: Men Like Porn
Male Stereotype Number 18: Men Don’t Do Therapy
Male Stereotype Number 19: Men Can’t Handle Commitment
Male Stereotype Number 20: Men Aren’t Feminists
Male Stereotype Number 21: Men Like Guns
Male Stereotype Number 22: Men Don’t Have Feelings
Male Stereotype Number 23: Men Don’t Shop
Male Stereotype Number 24: Men Are Leaders
Male Stereotype Number 25: Men Are Childish
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