This is a comment by wellokaythen on the post “Humping the Uncanny Valley: The Sexiness Gap in Men’s Sex Toys“.
Charles Emrich originally said:
“The narrative we have now is this: When a girl masturbates, she’s claiming her pleasure. She’s engaging in self-discovery. Male masturbation, by comparison, is viewed variously as a grim necessity, an object of jocular shame, or a mere fact. There’s nothing honorable, nothing transgressive, and barely even anything fun about the narratives of male masturbation in culture … ”
wellokaythen said:
“Yes, indeed. I’d go even further with the masturbatory double standard. Women masturbate because men are just not good enough. Men also masturbate because men are just not good enough. She does it because her sexuality is bigger than any single partner. He does it because he’s not good enough to get a partner. Her masturbation is a sign of success. His is a sign of failure.
“See Pink’s song ‘You and Your Hand’ for an example. (She’s a little hard on herself—if she won’t have sex with him, no one will? Not a very self-respecting statement.)”
Photo credit: Flickr / katybate
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I’d also like to add that the double standard goes a bit further. Female masturbation is “HOT” and male masturbation is “gross.” In my personal experience, my boyfriend is really turned on when he knows I’m masturbating (we’re long distance). If he’s masturbating, I’m glad he’s having fun and sexual pleasure, but it doesn’t make me horny.
That was particularly true when I was younger. Jerk off was an insult. There seems to be more acceptances and push back these days. I’ve heard some comments consistent with every guy does it.
Well there you go folks. All the “liberations” of the past have brought you is endless pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-philosophical and pseudo-rebellious musings on masturbation. Enjoy the “rights” and “equality.”
Yup. My idle musings on some of the smaller ways that attempts at equality have fallen short are, without doubt or reservation, to be viewed as the underwhelming culmination of “all the ‘libertations’” that have ever occurred in the area of gender and culture.
You sure hit the nail on the head. Please use the prefix “pseudo-” a few more times or your intellectual-and-above-it-all-internet-commenter license may be revoked. Have you considered railing against things as “hipsterish” or “dilettante-esque?” You may find insults of this sort will enliven your grumbly prose without forcing you to commit to a position outside of aggrieved melancholy at the sorry state of intellectual discourse.
Great points.
One more: there is the constant drumbeat that online porn is bad, yet the celebration of sex shops like Good Vibrations. At least online porn is consumed in privacy.
Vibrators are consumed in privacy, generally. As is porn.
Porn is sold in public. As are vibrators.
As for that drumbeat, I’ve heard a pretty different one in a bunch of places, actually.