Could you imagine if one day you woke up and your penis was gone?
What would you do if your penis just got up and left you? You’d probably experience what Sigmund Freud calls castration anxiety. Panic would set in. You’d no longer feel like a “man.”
Freud, the father of modern psychology spent a lot of time thinking about penises. He theorized that little boys wanted to kill their fathers so they could hump their mothers, while little girls would spend their entire adult lives secretly wishing they had penises (aka: penis envy).
Fortunately, these theories were disregarded as bat-shit crazy. But today’s modern world of porn does cause a lot of penis envy among men.
I was reminded of this when a client emailed me about how he hated his average penis. He felt unmanly. Sadly, I know exactly how he feels.
In fact, in one of my past relationships the girl I was seeing told me that both of her past sexual partners either had a penis that was longer than mine or wider than mine. Since most of my relationship validation came from our sexual relationship, part of me felt sick hearing this.
It affected me enough where I bought a book on how to enlarge my penis. I started doing regular “exercises,” and eventually spent $100 on a penis pump.
My penis expanded all of a few centimeters.
Granted, I did get harder due to some of the other exercises I was doing, but I didn’t get much bigger. I felt ashamed. Insecure. Doubtful of my ability to be a man. I felt I was destined to be dumped because of my size.
I don’t know if you’ve ever looked in a mirror, but as a man, we have lots of tools at our disposal. We have hands that can erotically touch, we have mouths that can kiss, and we have tongues to sing romantic songs. We have hearts that bleed love. As I discovered over the years, my worth is not measured by my penis size.
But yes, it’s true — penis size does matter. Women do like penises that are slightly longer and thicker than average.
Evidence supports this. They fill the vagina a little better, stretch the inner parts of the clitoris (the crura and bulbs), and are more arousing to the female eye and brain. They’re like boobs for men.
Like my client, most of us men overestimate how important our pee-wee size is to women. If we were a species where females selected males just for penis size, we would have tiny brains, no sense of humor, no civilization, no love, and no dating process.
All we would have to do is stand naked and point to our “third leg.” All tinder profiles would be penis pics.
If this were true, sexual selection would have given us massive penises and little desire (or ability) to even read an article on penises or do much else for that matter.
But the struggle for men is real. The struggle is not physical, it’s mental. Our modern culture of porn surrounds us in a virtual world of “gifted” men. As a result, we grossly underestimate our penis size relative to our “perception” of the average man, which is equally overestimated, relative to what most women actually want. This is formally known as the Porn Bias Effect.
Here’s how it works: when it comes to penis size, porn producers select male stars who are in the top 1% of penis wealth. Aka the Bill Gates of Penis. The more we jerk our little things to some manufactured image on a screen, the more warped our conception of the average penis size becomes.
Thus, our porn-produced penis envy makes men easy prey for penis-enlargement products. You know what I’m talking about – the ones conveniently blinking in bright colors next to your porn video. This One Pill Made My Penis 9 Inches Bigger. Try For Free. Since our blood is in the wrong head, some of us click on these links and buy things we regret. After diligently using the “products,” we soon realize that we were sold a bunch of bullshit.
Here’s the truth:
Herbal supplements don’t work. Vacuum “penis enlargers” can temporarily boost your size while your penis is in the vacuum chamber, but it does not produce any permanent enlargement. Not to mention vacuum penis enlargers can burst blood vessels, making your penis look diseased. Yikes!
Surgery can cut a suspensory ligament so your dick hangs lower when it’s limp, but it won’t make it any bigger when it’s erect. Not to mention it will be erect at a lower angle. Surgical injections can temporarily increase the girth of the penis with filler materials, but it takes a really good surgeon to not make your dick look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Not to mention the fillers tend to get reabsorbed into the body. If we’re looking at the long-term results you’re left with a medical bill and the same size penis.
Viagra doesn’t make you bigger, either. It only makes you harder and easier to get hard, stay hard and improve your hardness recovery rate after you shoot your baby tadpoles into the world.
Ironically there are a lot of male “scientists” who, like Freud, have many studies about penis size. The data is pretty telling. The average American’s erect penis is a tad bigger than 5 inches long (as measured from the top side of the penis to the tip to the public bone at the base).
If you want to measure this, stop watching porn on your iPhone and place your phone on top of your penis. The iPhone is 5.5 inches long. Only about 20% of men have penises longer than an iPhone when erect. Only 3% have penises longer than 8 inches. Only 1 in 10,000 has a ten-inch erection, and only about 5,000 men in the world have genuine twelve-inch erections.
So you can stop trying to measure from behind your ball sack like women who tell you how tall they are while wearing heels. There’s no need to pump up the numbers.
Your dick is what it is.
The best way to make your dick look bigger is to take care of yourself. Give it a little trimmy-trim-trim, and lose fat so your dick isn’t buried by your FUPA (Fat Upper Pubic Area).
As obesity continues to climb among young men, a lot of specialists are seeing “buried penis syndrome,” where gut fat and pubic fat hide the penis so it looks small.
Removing the pubic fat above and around the penis will do wonders for your “size” issues. Not to mention it will give a woman something firm, not squishy, to grind her clit against when you’re fucking her.
But even fit guys have penis envy. Speaking from experience, I learned that my obsession of penis size was due to other areas of my life making me feel inadequate. I wanted something to blame and there’s nothing easier for a man to blame than the thing he can’t change.
If you are feeling shame about your penis, take a moment to reflect on other areas that make you feel inadequate. Are you in a dead-end job? Does your girlfriend get dick pics from other guys? Are you living at odds with yourself?
Once I removed the items that made me feel inadequate, my penis envy went with it. As men, our worth is much more than the 5 inches between our legs. Women fall in love with us for more than how big we feel inside them. They fall in love with our ability to emotionally connect with them. To support them. For our dreams. For our kindness.
And if some woman tells you she’s breaking up with you cause you’re too small, realize how superficial she is and how empty a relationship with her will be.
Photo: Getty Images