My mother has been insisting for years that I read the 1987 classic The Great Cosmic Mother, which details the origins and implications of the Goddess religion. In the book’s pages, matriarchal cultures are resurrected as more progressive and peaceful alternatives to patriarchy. Far from merely substituting authoritarian male leaders with female ones, these cultures emphasize diffusion of power, communal child-rearing, and sexual freedom.
I don’t have to tell you what happened to most of those pre-Columbian utopias. I could talk about pillage, rape, slavery, war, and imperialism. But if there is one paradigmatic attribute that can be distilled from patriarchy — or the worship of “Father Sky” as opposed to “Mother Earth” in spiritual terms — it is control. Patriarchy is about controlling every aspect of human life: from sex to division of labor.
When I think of (Christian) Sunday School as a kid, all I can remember is all the things “God” was telling me not to do, and “God” was always a man.
Thus, it isn’t a stretch to claim that men are controlling. And the more powerful they get, the more controlling they become. Father Sky, or the Judeo-Christian God, is the ultimate control freak.
If you don’t believe me, then let’s discuss the Christian policy agenda. It’s always abortion this, abortion that. It doesn’t matter that people don’t have jobs or healthcare; it doesn’t matter that non-fetuses are dying in mass in Yemen, Iraq, or even our own cities or that we still execute innocent people. Many, but certainly not all Christians, are happy to push all that aside and have a ‘March for (Control of) Life‘ — because they care more about controlling women’s bodies than actually saving lives. This is at the top of their agenda, even though they can’t control their own priests.
I haven’t even discussed the controlling behavior of individual men, such as guys who call their partners every hour they’re apart or veto wardrobe choices that may attract other potential mates. That material alone could fill libraries. If I sound righteously indignant, it’s because I am.
I could never date a (stereotypical) man because I hate being told what to do and what not to do — especially by an absentee father. It’s one of the reasons why I do not have much of a relationship with my (mortal) father to this day. I do not think I am alone in this, so I empathize with anyone — of any gender or spiritual background — trying to break free from patriarchal gods or their counterparts on earth.
I wish I had all the answers just by virtue of being a man, but I don’t. I know that I don’t. And this is why I don’t try to control everything. As Sir Paul McCartney famously said, “Let it be.”
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Male Stereotype Number One: Men Don’t Cry
Male Stereotype Number Two: Men Don’t Ask for Directions
Male Stereotype Number Three: Men are Competitive
Male Stereotype Number Four: Men Don’t Cook
Male Stereotype Number Five: Men are Warriors
Male Stereotype Number Six: Men Are Clumsy
Male Stereotype Number Seven: Men Are Aggressive
Male Stereotype Number Eight: Men are Either Good or Evil
Male Stereotype Number Nine: Men Can’t Be Friends with Women
Male Stereotype Number Ten: Men are Strong
Male Stereotype Number 11: Men are Breadwinners
Male Stereotype Number 12: Men Don’t Refuse Sex
Male Stereotype Number 13: Men ‘Manspread’
Male Stereotype Number 14: Men ‘Mansplain’
Male Stereotype Number 15: Men Don’t Listen
Male Stereotype Number 16: Men Are Better Drivers
Male Stereotype Number 17: Men Like Porn
Male Stereotype Number 18: Men Don’t Do Therapy
Male Stereotype Number 19: Men Can’t Handle Commitment
Male Stereotype Number 20: Men Aren’t Feminists
Male Stereotype Number 21: Men Like Guns
Male Stereotype Number 22: Men Don’t Have Feelings
Male Stereotype Number 23: Men Don’t Shop
Male Stereotype Number 24: Men Are Leaders
Male Stereotype Number 25: Men Are Childish
Male Stereotype Number 26: Men are Stubborn
Male Stereotype Number 27: Men Are Territorial
Male Stereotype Number 28: Men Aren’t Nurturers
Male Stereotype Number 29: Men Are Selfish
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